We ate the Hot Dog Pizza—and lived

The food editors at Dailybeast.com wanted to love Pizza Hut's new Hot Dog Bites Pizza, and they claim to be the first to actually try it in the food-writing universe. So what's their verdict?

You'll have to read the often-hilarious article linked at the bottom of this page, but here's a warm-up: The hot dog-filled pizza crust promotion is the next-step response to the worldwide chain's Flavor of Now menu revamp launched late in 2014 and featuring artisanal choices like honey sriracha crust and crushed premium tomato sauce. That costly initiative led to a 3.5% decline in projected annual sales. Now, Dailybest.com poster James Joiner postulates that "Pizza Hut has put it in reverse for their latest offering of cocktail weenies."

Joiner adds, "We were the first to try Pizza Hut’s new pizza with tiny hot dogs instead of a crust. Everyone is still alive." The dimensions of the hot dog pie alone are as imposing to your average Joe as contemplating entering the annual Connie Island Hot Dog eating contest. Each pie comes with 28 “premium hot dog bites” encompassing an already calorie-laden pepperoni pizza. Each little piggie is blanketed securely in one of Pizza Hut's standard or pretzel crusts. This 460-calorie (per slice) Franks-with a stein-of-brew monster debuts this week (June 18 at all 6,300 U.S. Pizza Hut locations. Pizza Hut marketers call this hot dog pizza mashup a love letter to the “mainstream pizza lover.” Dailybeast.com calls that corporate pizza industryspeak for “people with zero regard for cholesterol.”

And the final call on the awesomeness or lameness of pork torpedoes on your hot dog pizza carrier? Read more for the belly-busting answer.